January 2013
1 post
Dear US Govt: its shocking to see how truly...
I keep looking in the White House fact sheet for the part where it says “take away the guns and open the FEMA camps” but I’m struggling to find it.
April 2011
3 posts
1 tag
Real music.
Real music.
time to buy my fourth phone since last...
You know, I never had that problem. Perhaps it isn’t college’s fault. Perhaps the fault lies with…well…
almost complained about how tough this week is and...
CHRIST WOMAN THAT SHIT IS FUCKING CREEPY
March 2011
18 posts
dear men, you are fucking WORTHLESS. cheers.
*ahem*
Your Facebook status sucks.
1. "Yay so my Women In Music test is now a...
I have Midterms too. I don’t care to hear about yours. Nor does anyone else.
my hands never pain while typing a thought fo all...
No comments = emotional crisis.
“Like” this man’s status even though it sucks. He needs it.
I wonder if atheist truely belive that a...
Mother of God. How could I have been so blind? Artificial, non-organic objects don’t evolve through natural selection, so that means…oh shit. That means organic, biological organisms don’t either! THE ENTIRE WORLD OF SCIENCE MUST BE REELING FROM YOUR STIRRING REFUTATION!
…Oh wait a minute. Calculators don’t fuck.
Your Facebook status sucks.
Everyone on Facebook: Please quit getting...
Allow me to drop some knowledge, sad boy.
The average user has about 300 friends, I wager. They probably interact with between four and eight of them with any regularity. When signed into chat, they probably want to speak with one of them. If you have to wonder to yourself, “am I one of this individual’s four-to-eight?”, the answer is probably no. I know people like you,...
it is better to look for solution than escape...
It’s true. Goats aren’t very useful as getaway vehicles.
RAPED EVERY SCRUB ON BLACK OPS !!!!
Kids these days.
Blackops is just trash now. I fucken hate it. It...
So…you just publicly admitted to crying over a video game. What’s wrong muffin, did you get lag-killed right when you were about to earn a Chopper Gunner Killstreak? There, there.
Your skill in Black Ops may not suck, but your Facebook status sure does.
if u dont love me somebody else will evn if u got...
Take notice fellas, nothing turns a girl on quite like the following:
1) Whining on the internet about unrequited interest
2) Whining on the internet about being single
3) Whining on the internet about not getting laid
4) Appealing to deities to pawn a woman off to you, kind of like a pimp
5) Spelling everything phonetically
Do each of these things, and soon you will be WINNING.
Your...
When my mom left today, she was like, "Peace and...
I don’t really have to come up with a biting quip to explain what’s wrong with this, do I?
Your Facebook status sucks.
If you dont like reading the bible for a cure for...
The Lord of the Rings does have a few things the Book of Revelations doesn’t. A coherent plot and three-dimensional characters, for starters.
Your Facebook status sucks.
I'm confused as to who I'm supposed to be cheering...
SCARY BROWN PEOPLE.
Your Facebook status sucks.
it's nice to be back in the suburbs where my air...
“nice to be back in the suburbs” = does not compute. But good. Stay there in your shitty, soulless, sterile subdivision. We don’t want you tainting our air with your mediocrity.
Your Facebook status sucks.
VAN HELSING......... I LUV THIS CHARACTER...
I doubt it, since I’m pretty sure you don’t know who Bram Stoker is. (Below, his profile picture)
You have shit taste in movies. And your Facebook status sucks.
Can haz a fire in the fireplace. =]
Are you serious? You’re a grown man, and you’re using lolspeak. I’m legitimately going to kick you in the chest if we ever cross paths again.
Your Facebook status sucks.
lol i’m such a dick. xDDDDDD
The curmudgeonly, sarcastic, mean-spirited dicks you seem to be trying to emulate do none of the following:
a) Giddily reference their own disposition
b) Use this emoticon: XD
Your Facebook status sucks.
Haha my can of Yuengling says "FAMILY OPERATED" at...
How is that funny? Because it’s beer? Are you eleven? Fuck off.
Your Facebook status sucks.
